26.2.1136. 92708.

Have you ever stepped outside of all your regular comforts to find out that you have finally reached a place of true nepanthean?

Slowly I have done just that. I no longer seek gratification for every move I make. And the only cause of which I can accredit such a revelation would be a single thought. A thought that pierced the gray matter in the center of my skull, and never escpaped the other side. Over time the thought grew uncontrollably, and branched to places in my mind that I have never tried to control.
It's amazing the way a single thought can impact the way you want to live your life. And I've come to realize that no one really knows my perspective about anything. Never attempting to tell someone what I honestly think.
On the other hand, I'm completely different from the person I used to be, and I am so much happier with the decisions I've made. I no longer let the past, or any type of negativity affect me whatsoever, and everything has been no less than absolute perfection for me.

Patrick?

Time to move on, and focus on art again.

People are useless anyway.

10:01pm. RANT

I'm through with lending my helping hands.

I can't wait till May.

revelation, thanks.

Who would have guessed one person could have impacted my life so much? I'm glad though, because I know now, whenever I am in artistic rut I can always turn to his work. He did work because he loved to . Not because he had to, and he gladly accepted all those the ugly marks he left on his work because they were a part of the journey. He made doing art everyday his priority and never let overthinking ever stop him.
He made me realize that it doesn't matter what my work looks like, as long as i'm doing it! And I can't depend on bad teachers to motivate me, I need "me" to motivate me. No matter how cliche' that sounds, It's 100% true.

I couldn't be any happier.

I did those pages in my sketchbook right after my mind exploded. They're not my best but I'm not going to care about, "if it looks amazing or complete." I'm just going to have fun.

No More

I'm so fucking sick of the bullshit
just fucking shut up, and stop fucking talking to me.

,

I have never been more unbelievable lost in my life.
I think I'm just an annoying waste of oxygen, and all the things I thought were good in me, are now shit.


i'm so done with being lost, and never knowing anything about myself.
i'm shit
i'm shit
i'm shit,
and I should just go fuck myself, because that's what everyone should be saying to me.

My Unicorn

I've had let my ego take control.
I've let myself believe I was good at something.


When in reality, I'm nothing.
I lost my drive,
I lost myself.

detective!

I'm getting really tired of the same old, same old.

blehh.